WORRIED? This can help.

I previously wrote about this life-lesson moment that occurred when my son was learning to ride his bike. It’s a lesson worth repeating as worry and fear continue to be deliberately cultivated to create feelings of being powerless and hopeless. In that space, you become inactive. Action, in many forms, is resistance. The life lesson I offer is a remedy you can use to counter worry. It is simple and powerful. As is the one question you can ask yourself to transform worry and stay engaged with your life.

The lesson? Energy follows focus. The question: What’s the BEST thing that could happen? Read on…

When my son was 7-years-old, I took him to a nearby park to practice bike riding without training wheels. The small park had a blacktop-paved path that circled the perimeter, about an 1/4 of mile around. The path was grassy on both sides providing a soft place to land if he fell over. Sprinkled along the path were a just a few park benches. Each at least 10 feet back from the path.

I held the back of his bike seat, repeated instructions and encouragement. “Ok, pedal!” I let go. “You got it! You’re doing it!” I shouted. “Keep peddling!”

He did have it. He was wobbling and riding his bike. But his focus was not on the road. “Mom, Mom! I’m afraid I’ll hit the bench. I’m going to hit the bench.”

The bench he was talking about was no where near the bike path. To hit it, he’d have to veer right and pedal about 12 feet up a grassy and gravely incline. Meaning, he’d have to be a skilled rider. Which he wasn’t just yet.

“Focus on the path and keep peddling,” I shouted as he did the opposite. He stayed focused on the bench—his fear—and peddled toward the bench like an expert.

I watched a Universal Law in action. His energy followed that focus. He hit the bench. Bullseye. Wobbled sideways and caught the bike before he and it both fell to the ground. I walked up the incline to help him. Amazed at the very clear life-lesson the Universe had dropped in my lap.

He looked back at me. “I hit the bench.”

I tried not to laugh. ““You sure did. Do you want to know why?”

“Why?”

“Well, was the bench close or far from the path?”

“Far.”

“That’s right. When you put your focus on the bench all your energy followed what you were focused on. So you drove toward the bench until you hit it. You always head toward what you are focused on.”

“Are you sure?” he asked.

“Let’s experiment. This time, only focus on the path and nothing else. Let’s see what happens.”

We began the process over again. I held his bike seat, offered instructions and reminded him to focus on the path.

He did. And learned to ride his bike. He went around the park a dozen times. With his body and his mind focused on the path. “You were right, Mom. It worked.” Music to my ears.

On the way home, I repeated the lesson. “You can be so proud that you focused on the path and you learned to ride your bike. That’s how life works,” I added. “You will head toward whatever you are focused on. Isn’t that cool?”

“Ya, that’s cool.” He said. He was proud. “I looked at the path, Mom. I can ride a bike.”

Energy follows focus.

There is a reason why human beings are inclined to attach to worry. It has to do with our ancient, and sometimes unproductive, survival system. Fight, flight or freeze. Just as a seed is designed to grow at all costs, humans are similarly designed to survive at all costs. The difference comes in when our survival system perceives something as a threat when it isn’t. A seed can’t reason—it just does its thing. Humans, for better or worse, can. Here is the simple question you can ask and answer anytime you need to reduce worry and anxiety and boost positive mental and emotional well-being:

Imagine a challenge, a decision you need to make, or a fear you have in this moment. Ask yourself, “What is the best, most positive thing that could happen?”

With pen and paper, write down your answer. Be as specific and detailed as you can. Notice how your body feels as you imagine and focus on the best outcome. During the day, every time you find yourself in worry or anxiety, ask the same question. What’s the best that could happen?

Shifting your focus to the best outcome can metaphorically (and literally) keep you from crashing into a bench. Well-being is not a given—it is a practice. Begin by noticing where you put your focus and watch your energy follow.