Take the Mystery Out of Managing Feelings

Oct 30, 2025

During autumn in New England, all you need to do is look out the window to see the stunning fuss nature creates to mark this season of letting go — an explosion of near-neon shades of red, yellow, orange, and gold light up cozy streets and rolling mountainsides. Change is a big deal and nature is asking us to pay attention. Then more change. October winds down and the fire-infused pigments mellow to a purpley auburn, muddy yellow, burnt orange. Branches bare their winter skin. And where only days ago trees glowed, they are dim and readied for the pause of winter.

Autumn can be a spooky time of year for just that reason (whether or not you celebrate Halloween.) Spooky because the natural world becomes a living paradigm for releasing the past and making way for what’s next—throwing everything into the unknown. That can feel scary because the unknown is one of the main challenges humans have to a maintaining a regulated nervous system. Transitions (change) by nature produce feelings of discomfort. It is natural and it is guaranteed to occur to some degree. Sometimes it is mild and sometimes it might even seem unbearable—and not nearly as pretty as the turning of leaves.

What can make any transition more easeful is taking some of the mystery out your emotions. Transitions by nature, produce feelings of discomfort. Absorbing that fact is a first step in demystifying feelings. Discomfort is to be expected when change arises. Transitions are change. Take a few breaths. You’re feelings are just telling you that you are human. You don’t need to change a thing. Just like the weather.

Feelings, like the weather, are just information about what is happening for you in this moment. On a snowy day, you don’t run outside and try to change the snow. You manage the snow with boots, a coat, mittens and maybe a little extra time to get where you need to go. The weather changes. So do feelings. Like the weather, you don’t need to change your feelings. You can notice your feelings and take care of them. Starting with breath.

One of the simplest and most effective ways to care for your feelings is by breathing on purpose. Simple, slow inhales through the nose and exhales through the nose (or mouth). Even once. It can soften emotional challenge and offer your nervous system a little soothing so you can move toward responding to your emotions with metaphorical snow boots, hat and coat. You can also move your body—even a brief walk at lunch or few stretches at your desk can help soothe challenging emotions. And you can write to yourself about whatever you notice—you can journal. These are 3 evidence-based tools proven to help you (and anyone) self-manage emotional and physical well-being any time of day or night.

SEASON 5 of our Breathe Move Journal Podcast, Mindfulness Mysteries with Detective MindDee is focused on supporting kids with tools for demystifying feelings and boosting emotional well-being. Each episode is a fun mystery story centered around the exploration of an emotion. The stories are fun, educational and full of silly adventure. They are solved by 5th grade super-sleuths Mikaela, Madeline, Minh, and Mateo. You are invited to join us! Can you can solve the mystery before the super sleuths do?

Left to Right: Mikaela Madeline Minh Mateo.

Your emotional world is always changing because it is designed to be a rich source of information about you in the present. Feelings offer you direction toward what you need for self-nurturance in any given moment. Pay attention to your emotions with a brief pause and a few rounds of breath. Notice again. Understanding your feelings—with your presence, not your thoughts—is the first step in more easeful, interesting and rich transitional times throughout your life. For kids and teens, too. Trust that what you feel matters and pay attention. That’s all you need to do.

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THIS WEEK IN BREATHE MOVE JOURNAL

JOURNAL THIS: What if…

1. Find a few minutes and a quiet space where you can pause. Sit or lie down. Close your eyes if that’s comfortable or soften your gaze. If you are sitting, lengthen your spine and allow your shoulders to soften down and away from your ears.

2. Begin to direct your breath through your nose, slowly. Exhale through the mouth. Inhale through your nose; exhale with a big sigh through your mouth. Take 5 -8 rounds of breath.

3. What if you could dress up as anything you wish for Halloween, or just because. Imagine that cost, access to the costume, judgment from self or others, and any other barrier you can conjure up, do not exist. Whatever you imagine, you can have it and wear it. Notice the first costume that comes to mind. Go with that, even if it doesn’t seem to make sense.

4. Spend 2-5 minutes answering one or all of the following prompts about the costume you choose (write your responses if you can.)

   1. Make a brief list of words describing your costume (i.e. fun, scary, pretty, powerful…)

   2. What feeling or body sensation do you notice when you think about yourself wearing the costume?

   3. Does the costume express something about yourself? (Qualities you have or wish you had.)

   4. Does the costume express a feeling you wish you could express more often?

5. When you feel complete, pause and begin to direct your breath slowly in and out of your nose 3 times. Just notice whatever you notice. Yay you!