RESOLUTIONS ARE FOR SPRING
HOW TO SLOW IT ALL DOWN FOR WINTER (January, 2025 Substack )
In the Western World, the New Year arrives with a long-standing tradition of creating a list of commitments to make change or get going on a monumental goal. Do you ever wonder why about 80% of New Year’s resolutions are abandoned in the U.S. by the end of January? I don’t believe it’s due to a failure of will or drive. It’s just the wrong season of the year to do it. January is winter in the Western World. A time when nature lies dormant in order to restore. It is a time of potent rest. Nature flows through a pattern of growth (spring), rest (summer), harvest (autumn), and restore (winter) that humans are a part of. Yes, we are a part of the natural world. In order to grow and bloom in the spring, a season of pausing must precede it. It’s essential. For humans, too. We are supposed to slow down in the winter.
I understand that most of us can not abandon our lives for three months to pause and rest (oh, to be a hibernating bear!) There is curriculum to teach, jobs and parenting to attend to, taxes and carpool, travel-sports, dentist appointments, showing up for family and friends, navigating a world that sometimes makes no sense at all. What we can do is conserve our personal energy where possible, do a little less, make necessary tasks smaller. We can allow ourselves and our kids the natural gift and practice of slowing down.
Barred owl I met in Kennedy Park, Berkshires MA on a recent wintery hike.
You can begin by asking kids and teens (and yourself) this question:
How can you accomplish this task with the least amount of effort? Is there a place where you can do less or enlist help to make the task more restful?
Here are a few ideas:
Normalize the urge to do less. Explain to kids and teens (and anyone) that it is natural to want to slow down this time of year. If something has to happen, ask if they can think of a way to accomplish the task with less effort.
Don’t add to a to-do list. Instead, remove things in whole or in some small part.
Pay attention. When kids and teens want to rest more or do less, can you allow them the gift of responding to what they need? Can you allow this for yourself?
Say no thank you. Can the task that is about to require your effort and energy wait? Will you have more energy if you say “no thank you” to an invitation? Can you make a task smaller? What would be enough?
Resolve to make resolutions in the spring. Try writing them down now and choose a date in the spring to begin.
Move slower. Do necessary tasks with less wasted effort. You might experience that moving slower does not delay the completion of a task. It diminishes the energy drain that rushing creates.
Allow more silence. Just for a few minutes a day. Turn off all devices. Including the television. Listen to the sounds of winter. Write or draw what you notice.
Be kind to yourself and everyone around you. Especially when it’s hard. Winter is a natural time to crave going slower. This can be particularly challenging in a world that often demands and rewards the opposite. Political change is coming in one week. There are fires burning in California. There are a host of other world-issues that can feel overwhelming. Where to begin? Begin by sending out more kindness into the world (ideas below). United we stand strong. You do not need to agree with someone in order to be kind.