Teach Kids to Chose Positivity
Soothing your nervous system is a life skill not a luxury.
Yesterday, during my weekly Zoom call as a mentor in the Berkshire County EforAll business accelerator program (of which I am a proud graduate), my fellow mentor shared this parable with our mentee: “It’s like the story about the 2 salespeople that go to a country to sell shoes where traditionally people go barefoot. One looks at all the bare feet and says, “I can’t sell shoes here. No one wears shoes. The other one looks and says, “Wow! I can sell so many shoes here! No one is wearing shoes.”
Neither salesperson is right or wrong. One is positive, though. And one is not. It’s a choice. And given that choice, these 2 folks are going to have a very different experience. The outcome may be the same. The experience getting there will not be. It’s a choice.
Every day, and especially at this moment in our country, you are like one these 2 salespeople. You have a choice. You get to decide if what you are experiencing means you are part of doomed country or that you have every opportunity to be part of a kind, successful one. Panic is a purposeful part of the plan for those currently dismantling government structures built for the people, by the people, to help the ALL people. Panic sends humans into fight or flight—survival. Survival mode shuts down the parts of the brain that you need to make good decisions. The hippocampus goes offline—that’s the part of the brain where you convert short-term memory to long-term memory so you can recall information, partly to help process emotion and make decisions. The prefrontal cortex also shuts down. That’s the part of the brain that helps you with planning, decision making, working memory, and again, processing emotion.
This brain process is why you can’t reason with a child having a tantrum, or a teen in rage after arguing with a friend or a 2nd grader who goes silent when it’s their turn to read aloud because they don’t read as well as others. First you have to soothe the nervous system. Get all the parts of the brain back online to some degree. Then you can help kids with social emotional learning. Academics. Creative problem solving. Critical thinking. And yourself as well.
We’ve endured 79 days of consistent and major disruption to a 250 year-old system of governance designed to help ALL people live free, healthier, happier, and safer lives. Imagine if you walked into your classroom every day (or your household) and changed the routine, took away things kids enjoyed, punished groups of kids for no reason, excluded certain kids from different activities, and ignored children who were hurting. It turns my stomach to think about it. That’s a painful nightmare, right? That’s what we are enduring as adult humans right now. It’s a lot. For everyone. And a proven place to manage all of it is by staying in the present moment and soothing your nervous system using evidence-based mindfulness tools: Breathe, move, journal.
If ever there were a time to adopt these tools it’s NOW. A simple, brief practice of pausing to breathe on purpose, talking a walk, doing downward facing dog for 3 breaths, journaling about your emotions and ending with gratitude—it takes minutes. It can change you and your world. It’s evidence-based in literal science. And when you change yourself—your ability to be in the positive—you change the world you live in.
Please offer these tools to the kids and teens in your life. Learning to sooth your nervous system is a life skill not a luxury. It’s simple. It’s accessible. It’s for everyone. And it’s necessary, now.
Positivity is not a rainbow-butterfly-unicorn perspective that ignores the very complex world we live in. Positivity is a choice. A choice that is rooted in mindfulness tools that enable you to stay in the present moment—whatever it looks like—and find the space to choose. Mindfulness practices are a way to be in the opportunity instead of the panic. It’s a choice you can make right now. Take 3 breaths as slowly as you can.
If you did, you have just inched yourself and the world forward. Thank you.
Elizabeth