Focus On My Opportunities: The New FOMO
You’ve likely heard of FOMO—fear of missing out. Even more likely, you’ve felt the effects of having it. FOMO is the feeling or perception that other people are having more fun, experiencing more amazing things or living a way better and easier life than you. This perception comes from engaging in judgment. Judgment takes you out of the present moment (mindfulness with all its healthy benefits) and into a place of self-induced anxiety. FOMO didn’t really exist a few decades ago. And neither did the pervasive use of social media. FOMO is often a result of scrolling through massive amounts of information about other people’s lives—whether you know them or not—and assigning judgments. Like everyone else is happier, wealthier, healthier. FOMO kicks in. And with it comes researched-based challenges to your wellbeing.
This is especially true for kids and teens. In an article from the Cleveland Clinic, clinical health psychologist Amy Sullivan, Psy.D. says, “FOMO is probably the most hurtful in teenagers or younger adults, specifically because they are trying to figure out where they fit in life and what groups they fit into.”
A newly released survey of teens and their parents by the Pew Research Center reveals that 48 percent of teens say social media harm people their age—up from 32 percent in 2022. Additionally, 45 percent of teens said they spend too much time on social media—an increase from 36 percent in 2022. Teen girls were more likely than boys to say social media use is harming their mental health, their self-confidence or their sleep.
So there it is. From teens themselves. How are we going to help?
Less time on social media is essential. And enforceable laws, school policies and home rules that regulate social media also matter. These are hurdles that take change, effort and some time. That’s ok. You can start teens off small with this super simple mind shift practice. Begin with the intention to move from FOMO to a Focus On My Opportunities. Here’s how:
Notice when the old FOMO shows up.
Pause in the feeling (avoid pushing it away) and take 1 long breath in through your nose and out.
Remind yourself that FOMO is now a signal to Focus On My Opportunities.
Bring to mind one small thing, a person, hope, goal, or gift that you DO have.
Focus on this one thing for one long breath in and out. That’s it.
What if teens actually practiced this 20 second mind shift—notice, take one breath, shift to Focus On My Opportunities, take one more breath? It’s a choice to focus inward—on your life, goals, gifts, blessings, and opportunities. Noticing what you DO have, not what you believe you don’t. Joy might follow. And a more emotionally regulated, hopeful and powerful generation of youth.
What we are tasked with now is managing a generation of young people in a mental health crisis with months-long wait lists for professional support. It’s our responsibility as adults to offer youth a variety of equitable and accessible tools that can compliment professional support—especially during the majority of hours when children or adolescents are outside of therapeutic care.
Breathing, body movement, and journaling are 3 of those tools. They require no special skill, they’re free, always accessible, and they can have immediate impact including:
Improve self-esteem and self-confidence.
Help kids recognize and manage emotions.
Reduce anxiety, stress and depression.
Increase emotional strength and resilience.
Improve engagement in the classroom and with academic material
Boost immunity and brain function.
Decrease unproductive thinking and rumination; promote action.
Like anything, you have to practice to receive the benefits. Breath Move Journal is designed to make that practice fun and easy in minutes a day so that kids and teens WANT to exercise agency in their own mental and emotional wellbeing. The books are designed to help youth build a healthy wellness habit—for lifetime. (At one local school, kids were spotted using Breathe Move Journal while waiting in the school pick-up line!)
FOMO isn’t really a thing—you can’t miss out on other people’s choices. Focus On My Opportunities is a thing. It’s necessary to living a healthy, enjoyable, meaningful life. Kids and teens can learn to focus inward, discover their values and goals, what energizes them, what lights them up, what they feel they have to offer the world, and to notice the good around them and in them. It’s a choice. It takes practice to self-manage challenging emotions and better absorb joy and happiness—youth can practice breathing, moving and journaling to do that. It’s evidence-based. It’s for everyone.
Breath Move Journal is my small contribution to helping solve our youth mental health crisis. My mission is to offer youth around the world a simple, accessible and effective practice of breathing, moving and journaling to help them self-manage mental, emotional and physical wellbeing in minutes a day—and for a lifetime. You can also contribute by shifting FOMO to a Focus On My Opportunities. Use simple mindfulness tools to support that. I am here to support you.
Warmly, Elizabeth
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This Week in Breathe Move Journal
SIMPLE BREATH
WHEN
Start with yourself and/or ask kids and teens to join you in choosing 3 times each day to pause on purpose and take 3 breaths. I recommend right before you eat—you know, habit stacking!
HOW
Breathe in through your nose slowly.
Breathe out through your nose slowly.
Repeat 3-5 times or more.
You can use this breath anytime and anywhere in your day. Try this breath with your classroom and/or family at the start of the day. Remind everyone to use this breath anytime they want to manage a feeling, a challenge or to embrace something enjoyable.
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SHOUT OUTS
Stay tuned for my new You Tube channel coming soon! Watch how-to videos, classroom ideas, using mindfulness tools at home and so much more. We’re making Breathe Move Journal more accessible than ever!
Thanks to the Berkshire Coalition for Suicide Prevention for making a supply of Breathe Move Journal books available to kids and teens in Berkshire County, MA for free. Anyone who knows a child or teen who would benefit from receiving a book can contact the BCSP here.
With continued gratitude for every educator, at every level in the U.S., who is trying to manage a world of students facing unprecedented challenges while also managing the very real challenges facing our public and private educational systems. We stand with you. You are essential to the wellbeing and strength of our Nation. We support you. Keep on!