Egg Machine Influencer

I have a best friend. Let’s call her Lara because that’s her name. We met in early 2022, during the pandemic, in a business accelerator program that was still fully online. She’s a writer. So am I. She’s also a singer. I am absolutely not. But that’s where our differences begin and end. We met in person a few weeks into the accelerator program at a local venue where she and her husband were performing. After hello hugs, we launched into a collective pooh-pooh for that weeks business homework; creating a survey.

“I don’t know why we have to ask strangers questions when I already know we’re right,“ I said.

Her husband looked a little shocked. “There really are two of you,” he uttered.

Lara and I are constantly being asked if we are twins or sisters (I find this an extraordinary compliment.) We both have the same long, curly hair but this happens even when mine is blown out straight. I was once sitting next to her husband before one of their gigs (hair curly) and friends of theirs came up from behind to say hello and were excited, then confused. I had to confirm for them that I wasn’t Lara. Sometimes, I even look at a photo of myself at an event and say, “Lara wasn’t sitting there, was she?” She wasn’t. She was on stage. The photo is of me. We call each other Sis.

We often text each other the same thought at the same time. (I was literally just emailing her this essay and she texted me.) We are what I call ‘high-level texters.’ We can leave out whole phrases, slog through weird (often hilarious) auto-correct or voice command mistakes and completely understand what’s being conveyed—and all the jokes that follow. We always get the nuances and subtext. We get each others humor. If I had to name it, our super-twin secret power is—well, I can’t tell you. It’s a secret. But we were both right about the surveys.

There is another secret power, however. The healing and inspiring power of true friendship. An especially unexpected treasure after 50. A rare, non-judgmental, honest, safe, encouraging, compassionate, fun, be-yourself-and-it-really-is-okay kind of connection. The kind of friend who always says, “you should write about that.” The kind of friend that gives you a lavender egg machine.

I have been dealing with some “belly issues” over the past few months and besides having to cancel plans at the last minute, I’ve had a lot of challenge about what to eat that works for my stressed-out system.

“Can you eat eggs?” Lara asked.

“Every day,” I said.

“I have this incredible egg machine. It makes perfect eggs every time. I’m sending you one. What color do you want?” (Duh. We both love lavender.)

I hadn’t seen Lara in almost a month. Due to my stomach and her seasonally busy summer writing workshop and performance schedule. We made last minute plans to meet for lunch yesterday. I didn’t feel great. I was determined to go. Per usual, I got there early. When she arrived, I simply couldn’t stay.

“I am so sorry, Sis. I don’t feel good. I need to go home. But I wanted to see you.”

We sat down for a minute at an empty outdoor table. We both had bags.

“I brought you this,” I said. (A green cotton sweater and empty egg cartons. She and her husband have 8 chickens.)

“I brought you this.” She handed me a purple gift bag with lavender tissue. We laughed.

I got the lavender egg machine and a cooking pamphlet from the Rockport Massachusetts Chamber of Commerce, printed in 1998. Rockport is my happy place. She found it at her local library book sale. She’s always right. Including about gifts.

She walked me to the car and in 3 minutes I blurted out how I was feeling, the frustration and grief, and her kindness sparked a moment of healing for me. “It’s okay,” she said. “We aren’t going anywhere.” Four words. She knew, as she always does, that somewhere inside me I felt like my current state of being might cost me my dearest friend (never true, but nonetheless). I didn’t know it myself. Until that moment. Four words unlocked my tears. And a big moment of healing when I got home. That is the gift of Lara.

I got home and used the egg machine. I mad videos to send her so she could get a sense of the joy she gifted me along with her spectacular friendship.

After a typically fun round of rapid-fire texting, she wrote, “The last video is the best! I think you should do an infomercial and get sponsorship! You can be an egg machine influencer! I love how your dishcloth matches the eggy machine perfectly.” She notices everything. She’s a writer. I knew she’d notice. I’m a writer, too. Details matter. They are the stuff of life. And of friendship. (Did I mention she made up an “egg dance” specifically choreographed to the egg machine song in the second video which she promised to teach me?)

Which brings me to mindfulness: paying attention on purpose to what’s happening in the present moment. What does any of this have to do with that?

Every bit of friendship has to do with mindfulness. How often do you pay attention to the details and all out blessings of the friends in your life? The true ones. The ones who always answer your call, always show up for you, always encourage your success and your joy. The ones who lend you a tent while you manage a bat situation in your house (true story, thanks Lara). The ones with integrity. The ones who are not afraid to be honest. How do you show them that you see them and love them?

Right now, bring to mind one true friend in your life. Jot down the top 5 ways they boost your well-being, bring you joy, comfort, fun. Breathe in gratitude. Write them a thank you note. Send them a lavender egg machine.

Elizabeth, Your soon-to-be egg machine influencer.

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