Be Kind. Live Longer. It’s Science.
Substack Newsletter, March 5, 2025
I have a kindness practice. It’s something I’ve done since I was a little girl. I like to randomly give little things to strangers. Here’s an example. In January, around my birthday, I bought a soapstone heart, marbled in the palest pink and cream. It was thick and rounded, about an inch and half tall. Maybe it cost $5. A few weeks later, I put in my bag with the intention of giving it away to someone. I carried it around for almost 6 weeks. The moment to give it away arrived last Friday at the Main Street Market and Cafe, in historic Concord, MA. (In a building that has stood since the 1830’s, just down the road from the Old North Bridge where the “shot heard round the world” took place.) I sat near the sun-flooded, front window for an early breakfast before heading to Orchard House—Louisa May Alcott’s home where she wrote Little Women. The sun spilled across my small table, soaked my back with an intense warmth that has eluded me this bitter cold winter in New England.
Soapstone heart.
The waitress, Marie, came to my table. I ordered coffee. As she walked away, I decided to gift her the heart. When she returned, I offered it to her with minimal explanation. She was pleasantly shocked. “I can’t believe you gave this to me,” she marveled. “It’s my birthday. I usually don’t work this shift, either. It’s a sign. This hard thing my family is going through is going to be okay.” She hugged me. We both absorbed the moment.
So fun to have my own carafe of the best coffee ever!
We chatted intermittently as she served the growing crowd in the cafe. I could see her telling her co-workers about the heart. See their faces light up, too. She kept thanking me. Sharing with me. (Her family has operated in and owned this building for six generations.) On my way out, she hugged me again. This tiny act of kindness had so much more impact than I could have imagined. On us both. It always does. That’s how kindness works. That’s why I do it. It’s so fun to feel the magic that happens. It’s healthy in every way. And it’s science.
Researchers have studied kindness. At the Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health scientists find that the effects of being kind to others, to yourself and even witnessing acts of kindness, boosts mental and physical health. Kindness can also help you live longer. This is true for everyone—from toddlers to elders. It’s simple. It begins with the intention of being kind. Here are some simple ways to manifest your intention:
smile at others
say thank you
check-in on a sick neighbor or any neighbor for no reason at all
offer to help without someone needing to ask
give someone a genuine compliment
share your gratitude for someone in your life
call a friend (instead of texting)
pay for the coffee of the person in line behind you
let someone else go first
write thank you notes for your postal worker, the local fire or police department or anyone who helps in your community
thank your child’s teachers
Now is the perfect time to amplify kindness. In your own life, in schools, at work and in your community. It’s the perfect time to normalize caring about each other. Normalize caring about people we may never meet in person. It doesn’t have to cost a thing—a smile is free. Kind words are free. Taking 2 minutes for yourself to just breathe is free. There is always time to be kind.